<p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(21, 100, 250);">- Trudy / Everest and a letter of love and compassion</b></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:20px; color:rgb(21, 100, 250);"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></b></p> <p class="ql-block">1月23日，在墨爾本朝圣之友每月一次的例行聚會(huì)上，我結(jié)識(shí)了澳洲作家 J。交談中，她提到自己已訂好4月4日前往尼泊爾、在喜馬拉雅山脈進(jìn)行徒步的行程。我當(dāng)即決定同行，并在餐桌旁完成了報(bào)名及支付定金。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">然而，2月6日，她告知我她因訓(xùn)練過(guò)度導(dǎo)致脛骨疼痛，不得不遺憾地將行程推遲至10月。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">昨晚，我給她寫(xiě)了一封電郵，向她解釋為何我依然選擇不改初衷、繼續(xù)前行的緣由。</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:15px; color:rgb(21, 100, 250);">Annapurna Base Camp (ABC) Trekking Map安娜普爾納大本營(yíng) (ABC) 徒步路線(xiàn)圖</span></p> <p class="ql-block">******（我的英文信中文翻譯）******</p><p class="ql-block">J 你好：</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">讀完你的短信后，我對(duì)自己之前沒(méi)有及時(shí)回復(fù)你幾封郵件，心里感到非常抱歉。我知道你那段時(shí)間一直在為過(guò)度訓(xùn)練后的身體狀況而擔(dān)憂(yōu)，如果因?yàn)槲一貜?fù)不夠及時(shí)，哪怕只是一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)，影響了你推遲這次行程的決定，我都會(huì)非常自責(zé)。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">自從在23日（周五）的 Camino 晚宴上認(rèn)識(shí)你，并在你的幫助下報(bào)名了安娜普爾納大本營(yíng)（ABC）徒步之旅之后，我就一直對(duì)這次行程充滿(mǎn)期待，也真心盼望能與你一同出行。我從未有過(guò)一絲一毫想要退出的念頭。只是最近生活中確實(shí)有些應(yīng)接不暇，我當(dāng)時(shí)所做的，只是先訂好了與你相同的國(guó)際航班，然后等你從曼谷飛往加德滿(mǎn)都那一段的具體信息出來(lái)后，再把整個(gè)行程補(bǔ)訂完整。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">得知你決定推遲這次旅行，我感到非常遺憾；但與此同時(shí)，我也由衷地為你感到安心和欣慰——你把自己的身體和健康放在了第一位，認(rèn)真對(duì)待脛骨疼痛的問(wèn)題。這需要勇氣，也需要對(duì)自己的身體有足夠的覺(jué)察與尊重。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">我記得曾和你說(shuō)過(guò)，尼泊爾徒步一直是我人生清單上的一個(gè)夢(mèng)想。這個(gè)夢(mèng)想，源于我小女兒 Trudy 曾兩次前往尼泊爾——第一次是在2018年12月，作為莫納什大學(xué) TeamMED（學(xué)生醫(yī)療外展項(xiàng)目）的一員；第二次是在2019年12月，她在喜馬拉雅山區(qū)完成了一次徒步。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">以下這篇文章，是我在她第一次尼泊爾之行歸來(lái)后寫(xiě)下的。</p><p class="ql-block">————————</p><p class="ql-block">《腳印》</p><p class="ql-block">2018年5月初，你征詢(xún)我們的意見(jiàn)，想?yún)⒓幽鞘泊髮W(xué)(Monash University)的學(xué)生醫(yī)療隊(duì)(TeamMED)，去尼泊爾山區(qū)送醫(yī)送藥，愛(ài)心義診。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">“ 你愿意幫助他人是好事，而有能力做到說(shuō)明你有價(jià)值，” 我們這樣鼓勵(lì)她。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">在申請(qǐng)和甄選通過(guò)之后，你和其他的11位同學(xué)便積極開(kāi)始多種活動(dòng)。即使是在緊張的期末考試期間，也做甜品到學(xué)校義賣(mài)，在商場(chǎng)賣(mài)BBQ燒烤，以及組織慈善捐款。通過(guò)各種途徑籌募資金，購(gòu)買(mǎi)醫(yī)療器材和藥品。你們除了全額負(fù)擔(dān)自己的旅費(fèi)食宿之外，每人還出資$1400澳元用作此次活動(dòng)的經(jīng)費(fèi)。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">12月1號(hào)凌晨的飛機(jī)。由于擔(dān)心太早交通不便而誤了行程，你便頭一天(11月30)晩上，隨我同車(chē)到了機(jī)場(chǎng)。當(dāng)晚十點(diǎn)我出差去了歐洲，而你就睡在機(jī)場(chǎng)大廳，等待第二天一早的值機(jī)。那是一個(gè)極其漫長(zhǎng)的夜晚啊，伴隨著飛機(jī)的每一段航程，我忐忑不安，數(shù)著離你出發(fā)的每一個(gè)時(shí)點(diǎn)。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">一路的廉價(jià)航班，經(jīng)印尼巴厘、泰國(guó)曼谷轉(zhuǎn)機(jī)后，到達(dá)尼泊爾首都加德滿(mǎn)都。短暫休整一天之后，便開(kāi)始向尼泊爾東部的邊遠(yuǎn)山區(qū)進(jìn)發(fā)。</p><p class="ql-block">第一天，在崎嶇不平的路上，你們的汽車(chē)一路顛簸13個(gè)小時(shí)，最終到達(dá)一個(gè)小客棧。再往前行，不是沒(méi)有車(chē)，而是沒(méi)有路。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">于是，在寒冷的冬天，在喜馬拉雅山高原，你們一行在向?qū)Ш碗S行人員的帶領(lǐng)下，白天在羊腸小道上跋山涉水，晚上則兩人一組卷縮在路邊的帳篷里。連續(xù)三天，長(zhǎng)途跋涉，風(fēng)餐露宿。在貧瘠荒蕪的土地上，留下了一串串腳印。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">每一個(gè)腳印，踩破的是腳底的水泡；每一個(gè)腳印，踏上的是海撥又一個(gè)新高；每一個(gè)腳印，邁出的是氣喘吁吁；每一個(gè)腳印，堅(jiān)定的是樸素的信念，愛(ài)心扶助要身體力行。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">三天的徒步，終于到達(dá)位于喜馬拉雅山腳下的索魯孔布(Solukhumbu)地區(qū)。你們?cè)诤０稳Ф嗝赘叩纳狡律像v扎了下來(lái)，布置簡(jiǎn)易診所(clinic)、藥房、和生活帳蓬。在短短的幾天時(shí)間內(nèi)，在極其簡(jiǎn)陋的條件下，你們一共看了四百多個(gè)病人。有的甚至徒步6個(gè)小時(shí)趕來(lái)，并在就診結(jié)束之后，靠著醫(yī)療隊(duì)贈(zèng)送的手電筒返程。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">人的一生，總會(huì)留下許多腳印。有的平淡無(wú)奇，有的卻印在心里，無(wú)法抹去，成為自己走遍萬(wàn)水千山的人生經(jīng)歷。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(21, 100, 250); font-size:15px;">(寫(xiě)于2019年1月9日)</span></p><p class="ql-block">———————————</p><p class="ql-block">在完成醫(yī)學(xué)學(xué)業(yè)，并在莫納什醫(yī)院整形外科工作了近四年后，Trudy 罹患了嚴(yán)重的抑郁癥，并最終不幸選擇結(jié)束了自己的生命。我徹底崩潰了，整個(gè)世界仿佛瞬間粉碎。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">從那以后，我一直在掙扎著理解這一切，不斷尋找答案，同時(shí)學(xué)著在失去她的巨大痛楚中活下去，面對(duì)一個(gè)沒(méi)有她的世界。這正是我選擇行走 Camino 朝圣之路的原因 - 為了尋找精神上的覺(jué)醒與療愈，以及活下去的勇氣。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">按照要求，我已于上周五（2月7日）完成了全部付款。然而，后來(lái)我再次翻看 Trudy 的照片時(shí)，才意識(shí)到她在2020年12月完成的徒步其實(shí)是珠峰大本營(yíng)（EBC），而不是安娜普爾納。我今天早上致電 Intrepid Australia，詢(xún)問(wèn)是否可以更換行程，他們非常體貼地幫我做了調(diào)整。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">我現(xiàn)在正準(zhǔn)備參加 4月4日至18日的珠峰大本營(yíng)徒步之旅。我將循著她曾經(jīng)走過(guò)的路，試著去感受她當(dāng)時(shí)所感受到的一切。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">再次為我回復(fù)不夠及時(shí)以及由此可能造成的任何誤會(huì)向你道歉，也請(qǐng)?jiān)忂@封信寫(xiě)得如此之長(zhǎng)。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">雖然我們真正接觸的時(shí)間并不算久，但從三周前那次短暫的交流中，我已感受到你是一位值得信任、可以分享人生經(jīng)歷的人。謝謝你的理解、支持，以及這份難得的情誼。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">此致</p><p class="ql-block">Kevin</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="color:rgb(21, 100, 250); font-size:15px;">2018年12月，Trudy and her TeamMED 秋迪和她的醫(yī)療隊(duì)跋涉在喜瑪雅拉山區(qū)</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:15px; color:rgb(21, 100, 250);">路上風(fēng)餐露宿</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:15px; color:rgb(21, 100, 250);">醫(yī)療和生活帳逢</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:15px; color:rgb(21, 100, 250);">全體莫那什大學(xué)TeamMed</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:15px; color:rgb(21, 100, 250);">2019年12月，Trudy再次走進(jìn)尼泊爾，徒步喜馬拉雅山脈</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:15px; color:rgb(21, 100, 250);">2019年12月，秋迪徒步Everest Base Camp (EBC)珠峰大本營(yíng)線(xiàn)路</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:15px; color:rgb(21, 100, 250);">Everest Base Camp (EBC) Trekking Map, 珠峰大本營(yíng) (EBC) 徒步路線(xiàn)圖</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><i>一個(gè)小時(shí)后，我收到了她的回復(fù)：</i></p><p class="ql-block"><i><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></i></p> <p class="ql-block">親愛(ài)的 Kevin：</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">我剛游完泳，正準(zhǔn)備關(guān)掉電腦時(shí)，你那封美麗的郵件忽然出現(xiàn)在屏幕上。讀著讀著，我就哭了起來(lái)。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">今天我和男朋友吵了一架。 說(shuō)來(lái)話(huà)長(zhǎng)；他是我 25 年前交往過(guò)的一個(gè)男人，后來(lái)為了去微軟工作搬到了西雅圖。我們最近才重新開(kāi)始約會(huì)，但我并不確定這段關(guān)系能走多遠(yuǎn)?？晌译[約覺(jué)得，讓我流淚的，其實(shí)并不只是這件事。（順便一提，那天星期五我遇見(jiàn)你之前，也正好和他吵過(guò)架，心里非常難過(guò)。當(dāng)我見(jiàn)到你時(shí)，我甚至想過(guò)：你會(huì)不會(huì)是上天派來(lái)安慰我的“天使”？）</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">當(dāng)我讀到你寫(xiě)的徒步旅行、寫(xiě)到你美麗的女兒 Trudy，寫(xiě)到她那令人驚嘆的善良與勇氣時(shí)，我哭得更厲害了。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">而當(dāng)我讀到 Trudy 去世的那一行時(shí)，我?guī)缀蹩薜叫乃?，感覺(jué)心臟都要裂開(kāi)了。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">首先，我真的、真的為你所經(jīng)歷的一切感到無(wú)比心痛。沒(méi)有任何父母，應(yīng)該承受你所承受的痛苦。你顯然是一位善良而充滿(mǎn)愛(ài)的父親，你一定每天都在想念她。我確信你的妻子和女兒同樣心如刀割。我為你們心疼，真希望能給你們一個(gè)緊緊的擁抱。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">但比這更讓我難過(guò)的是：Trudy 曾經(jīng)痛苦到覺(jué)得，除了結(jié)束自己的生命，已別無(wú)選擇。有些人生來(lái)就帶著抑郁癥，而它一生都不會(huì)真正離開(kāi)。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">我知道這一點(diǎn)，因?yàn)槲乙苍噲D結(jié)束自己的生命。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">我從父親那里遺傳了抑郁癥。我的父親是一位杰出的數(shù)學(xué)家、旅行者、冒險(xiǎn)家，在 2015 年去世前，他走遍了 85 個(gè)國(guó)家。這種抑郁，是我一生持續(xù)的斗爭(zhēng)。但我慢慢學(xué)會(huì)了一些應(yīng)對(duì)的方法，其中之一是走路，另一個(gè)是旅行。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">從 2023 年到 2025 年，我陷入了極度的抑郁。那段時(shí)間，我的前夫，一名前聯(lián)邦警察，曾用槍威脅我，偷走了我的錢(qián)，還在我毫不知情的情況下，多年來(lái)慢慢地給我下毒。后來(lái)，我選擇了原諒他，但那是一個(gè)極其漫長(zhǎng)的過(guò)程。我通過(guò)運(yùn)動(dòng)、步行、閱讀和旅行，一點(diǎn)一點(diǎn)地治愈了自己。（天哪，我在旅行上花了太多錢(qián)！卡普里島差點(diǎn)讓我破產(chǎn)?。?圣地亞哥之路（Camino）是我療愈過(guò)程的最后一環(huán)，它徹底改變了我的人生。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">可即便如此，當(dāng)我走進(jìn)圣地亞哥·德孔波斯特拉時(shí)，我收到了我在墨爾本的哥哥發(fā)來(lái)的一封郵件，說(shuō)我的侄女曾兩次試圖自殺。（所幸她活了下來(lái)，現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)好多了。）</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">抑郁癥是當(dāng)今社會(huì)中最可怕、最隱蔽的疾病之一。它藏得太深了，以至于我們根本不知道，誰(shuí)正在真正地苦苦掙扎。我的朋友中，幾乎沒(méi)人知道我絕望到什么程度；家人更是完全不知情。我們總覺(jué)得，保持體面、維持表象、在朋友面前表現(xiàn)得快樂(lè)、開(kāi)朗、充滿(mǎn)笑聲，似乎更容易。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">我在世界各地指導(dǎo)作家。我曾在美國(guó)亞馬遜暢銷(xiāo)書(shū)拿下排行榜第一名。我去過(guò)無(wú)數(shù)令人驚嘆的地方?？杉幢闳绱?，我卻在幾十年的時(shí)間里，深深地悲傷著。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">讀你郵件的時(shí)候，我一遍又一遍地對(duì) Trudy 說(shuō)：“對(duì)不起，你經(jīng)歷了這一切。我真的、真的很抱歉?！?lt;/p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">我為她哭了很久。我希望她知道，她觸碰過(guò)多少人的生命- 而且仍在觸碰，包括我的。我懷疑，她正在聆聽(tīng)。我真的相信，我們所愛(ài)的人就在上方，俯瞰著我們。在 Camino 的路上，我經(jīng)歷過(guò)許多神秘而靈性的時(shí)刻，甚至是奇跡。這讓我相信，真的有天使存在。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">她顯然是一個(gè)非凡的人，一個(gè)了不起的人。有些人，注定在人世間只寫(xiě)下短短一段劇本，卻留下了長(zhǎng)久而深遠(yuǎn)的影響。我不知道為什么會(huì)這樣？我不知道，為什么最優(yōu)秀的人，總是過(guò)早地被帶走？我也不知道，為什么像我這樣的人 - 既沒(méi)有 Trudy 那樣勇敢，也遠(yuǎn)不如她聰慧、無(wú)畏 - 卻 somehow 能與抑郁抗?fàn)?，并活著走到今天？這一切都說(shuō)不通。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">我只知道，生命短暫，我們必須珍惜每一天，珍惜每一個(gè)走進(jìn)我們生命、哪怕只輕輕觸碰過(guò)我們的人。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">我現(xiàn)在還在流淚，所以就先把這封漫長(zhǎng)的郵件停在這里吧。但我真的很高興你寫(xiě)信給我，也覺(jué)得你決定去 EBC 非常勇敢。我甚至在想，會(huì)不會(huì)是 Trudy 在那個(gè)星期五把我們安排在一起，好讓我勸你去 ABC，然后你再轉(zhuǎn)而決定去 EBC？宇宙的運(yùn)作方式，真的很神秘。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">還有一件既神秘又耐人尋味的事，是你寫(xiě)那篇文章的日期：2019 年 1 月 9 日。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">“9” 這個(gè)數(shù)字，在過(guò)去幾年里，對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)意義非凡。它是一個(gè)重要的數(shù)字——3×3（而 3 是一個(gè)靈性的數(shù)字，象征著神圣的三位一體）。在毫無(wú)意識(shí)的情況下，我去年正好在 1 月 9 日預(yù)訂了 Camino。人生中許多重大的決定，也都發(fā)生在“9”這一天。我的上一部書(shū)是在 9 月 9 日出版的。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">當(dāng)我讀完你的郵件抬頭一看，已經(jīng)是 2 月 9 日，星期一，晚上 11 點(diǎn) 09 分。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">我不知道“9”究竟意味著什么，但它總是在我人生的關(guān)鍵時(shí)刻出現(xiàn)，于是漸漸成了一個(gè)好兆頭。真希望我那位數(shù)學(xué)家父親還在，能替我解釋這一切！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">如果可以的話(huà)，我還會(huì)再給你寫(xiě)信。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">與此同時(shí)，附上我寫(xiě)的一篇關(guān)于 Camino 的文章。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">把我最真摯的祝福送給你、你的妻子，以及你們的兩位女兒——包括 Trudy。她毫無(wú)疑問(wèn)已經(jīng)在天堂，跟隨著父親環(huán)游世界，默默守護(hù)著他。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">我很高興，自己曾在你決定前往尼泊爾的過(guò)程中，扮演了一個(gè)小小的角色。我知道，你一定會(huì)有一段非凡的旅程，就像 Trudy 曾經(jīng)擁有的那樣。我由衷地敬佩她。也許有一天，她甚至?xí)?lì)我，親自去嘗試一次 EBC。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">永遠(yuǎn)送上我最誠(chéng)摯、最溫柔的祝福。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">J</p> <p class="ql-block">******（英文信原文）******</p><p class="ql-block">Hi J</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">After reading your text message, I felt truly sorry for my lack of response to several of your emails. I understood that you had been dealing with concerns about your fitness after over-training, but I would honestly kick myself if my slacking off my replies contributed to your decision to postpone the trip.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">Since meeting you at the Camino dinner on Friday the 23rd and booking the Annapurna Base Camp trek with your help, I had been genuinely excited to the trip and look forward to travelling with you. There was never a moment of doubt in my mind about pulling out. However, with my life having been quite overwhelming recently, what I did was simply book the same flight and then wait for the details of your next leg from Bangkok to Kathmandu so I could complete booking of the whole journey.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">I was very sorry to hear that you postponed the trip. At the same time, I was glad to see that you put your own wellbeing first and took care of your shin splints. That takes courage and self-awareness.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">I remember telling you that trekking in Nepal has always been on my dream list. That dream began after my younger daughter, Trudy, went there twice - first in December 2019 as part of the Monash TeamMed program, and then again in December 2020, when she trekked in the Himalayan region. </p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">The following article was I wrote after her return from her first trip.</p> <p class="ql-block">—————</p><p class="ql-block">《Footprints》</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">In early May 2018, you came to us for advice. You were hoping to join TeamMED, the student medical outreach program at Monash University, and travel to the remote mountains of Nepal to deliver medicine and provide free medical care.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">“Wanting to help others is a beautiful thing,” we told you. “And being able to do so means you have something valuable to give.”</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">After passing the application and selection process, you and eleven other students began preparing in earnest. Even during the intensity of final exams, you baked desserts to sell on campus, ran barbecue stalls in shopping centers, and organized charity fundraisers. Through every means available, you raised funds to purchase medical equipment and supplies. Beyond covering your own travel and living expenses, each of you contributed AUD$1,400 toward the mission.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">It was not an easy choice—but it was a wholehearted one.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">Your flight departed in the early hours of December 1. Concerned that transportation at such an hour might go wrong, you came to the airport with me the night before. That evening, at ten o’clock, I left on a business trip to Europe. You stayed behind, sleeping alone in the airport hall, waiting for check-in at dawn.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">It was a long, restless night for me. As my plane crossed continents and time zones, I found myself counting the hours to your departure, my thoughts following you through every moment I could imagine.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">You traveled on budget flights, transferring through Bali and Bangkok, before finally arriving in Kathmandu. After one brief day of rest, you began the journey toward the remote eastern mountains of Nepal.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">On the first day alone, your vehicle jolted along broken roads for thirteen exhausting hours before reaching a small roadside lodge. Beyond that point, it was not that vehicles could go no farther—it was that the road itself simply ended.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">And so, in the heart of winter, on the high Himalayan plateau, you continued on foot.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">Guided by local leaders and support staff, you trekked during the day along narrow mountain paths, crossing streams and climbing ridges. At night, you slept two to a tent, curled against the cold by the roadside. For three consecutive days, you walked long distances, exposed to wind and hunger, sleeping under the open sky. Across that barren and silent land, you left behind a trail of footprints.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">Each footprint burst a blister on your feet.</p><p class="ql-block">Each footprint lifted you to a higher altitude.</p><p class="ql-block">Each footprint was taken through breathlessness and fatigue.</p><p class="ql-block">And each footprint carried a quiet, steadfast belief: that compassion must be expressed through action, not words.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">After three days of trekking, you finally arrived in the Solukhumbu region, at the foothills of the Himalayas. On a mountainside more than 3,000 meters above sea level, you set up camp—assembling a makeshift clinic, a small pharmacy, and your living tents.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">In just a few short days, under the most basic conditions, you treated more than four hundred patients. Some had walked six hours to reach you. After their consultations, they began the long journey home by the light of flashlights your team had given them.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">A person leaves many footprints in a lifetime.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">Some are light and quickly erased. Others sink deep into the earth—and into the heart—remaining long after the journey has ended. These are the footprints that become part of who we are, carried with us across mountains and rivers, shaping the path we walk for the rest of our lives.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:15px; color:rgb(21, 100, 250);">（Written on January 9, 2019）</span></p><p class="ql-block">———————</p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">After completing her medical studies and working in Plastic Surgery at Monash Hospital for nearly four years, Trudy suffered from severe depression and, tragically, took her own life. I was completely devastated and shattered.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">Since then, I have struggled to understand, constantly searching for answers while trying to live with the raw anguish of her loss and navigate a reality without her. This is the reason I chose to walk the Caminos - to seek spiritual awakening and healing.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">I made my full payment last Friday 7 February as required. However, when I later looked through Trudy’s photos again, I realised that the trek she completed in December 2020 was actually Everest Base Camp, not Annapurna. I then called Intrepid Australia this morning and asked if it was possible to swap to EBC, and they kindly accommodated my request. </p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">I am now preparing for the Everest Base Camp trek on 4-18 April. I will be following in her footsteps, trying to feel what she once felt.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">Once again, I apologise for Poor responsiveness and for any confusion it may have caused. And I’m sorry for the length of this message.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">From our brief contact three weeks ago , I feel you are someone I can trust and share life experiences with. Thank you for your understanding, your support, and your friendship.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">Kind regards,</p><p class="ql-block">Kevin</p> <p class="ql-block">******（英文原文）******</p><p class="ql-block">Dear Kevin,</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">I had just finished my swim and was about to turn off my computer when your beautiful email arrived. As I read it, I started to cry. </p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">I had a fight with my boyfriend today – a long story; he is a man I dated 25 years ago, before he moved to Seattle to work for Microsoft, and we have just started dating again, but I’m not confident it will last? But I had a sense that that wasn’t the reason why I was crying. (Incidentally, I’d had a fight with him the Friday I met you and was feeling very sad, and when I met you I wondered if you were an ‘a(chǎn)ngel’ sent from heaven to cheer me up?) </p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">As I read your email about your trek, and your beautiful daughter Trudy, and her incredible kindness and courage, I started to cry even more. </p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">When I reached the line about Trudy’s death, I cried so hard I thought my heart would break.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">Firstly, I am so very sorry that you went through this. No parent should have to endure what you have endured. You are clearly a kind and loving father and you must miss her every day. I’m sure your wife and daughter are just as heartbroken. I feel for you both. I wish I could give you both a big hug.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">But more than that, I'm very sorry that Trudy suffered so much that she felt she had no option but to take her own life. Some people are born with depression and it never goes away. </p> <p class="ql-block">I know, because I have tried to take my life.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">I inherited depression from my brilliant mathematician / traveller / adventurer father who visited 85 countries before he died in 2015, and it’s a constant struggle. But I’ve learned tools to cope. One of them is walking. Another is travelling. I was deeply depressed from 2023 until 2025, after my ex-husband – a former federal policeman – threatened me with guns, stole my money, and quietly poisoned me over many years without me knowing. I’ve since forgiven him. But it’s been a long process. I healed myself through exercise, walking, reading and travelling. (Oh my goodness, I spent a fortune on travel! Capri almost bankrupted me!) The Camino pilgrimage was the final part of my healing process. It changed my life. </p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">But even then, as I walked into Santiago de Compostela, I received an email from my brother here in Melbourne saying that my niece had tried to take her own life. Twice. (Thankfully she survived, and is much better now.)</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">Depression is one of the most terrible, insidious illnesses in today’s society. Unfortunately, it is so well hidden that we just don’t know who is truly struggling. Few of my friends and none of my family knew the depths of my despair. We think it’s easier to be gracious, to keep up appearances, to be full of joy and laughter for our friends. I mentor authors all over the world. I’ve had number one bestsellers on US Amazon. I’ve travelled to amazing places. Yet I was deeply sad for decades.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">As I read your email, I kept saying to Trudy: “I’m so sorry you went through this. I’m so very sorry”. I cried and cried for her. I hope she knows how many lives she touched, and is still touching — including mine. I suspect she is listening. I do believe our loved ones are above us, looking down. I had so many mysterious, mystical experiences on the Camino. Miracles, too. It made me believe there are angels above us.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">She was clearly a remarkable person. An extraordinary person. Some people are destined to have a short script but leave a lasting legacy on this earth. I don’t know why? I don’t know why the best of us are taken before their time? I don’t know why people like me – who are not as brave as Trudy and certainly not as intelligent or intrepid – somehow manage to fight the depression and come out the other side? None of it makes sense. </p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">All I know is that life is short, and that we must be grateful for every day, and for every person we meet who touches our lives, even in small ways.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">I’m crying still, so I will leave this long email here. But I’m so glad you wrote, and I think you are very brave to do EBC. I do wonder if Trudy put us together that Friday night so I would persuade you to do the ABC, and then you would switch to the EBC? The universe works in mysterious ways.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">Something else that is mysterious and curious is the date you wrote your essay. You wrote it on the 9/1/2019. ‘9’ has been a special number in my life these past few years. It is a significant number – 3x3 (3 is a spiritual number — the Holy Trinity). Without realising it, I booked the Camino on January 9 last year. Many of the major decisions I’ve made in life have happened on a 9. My last book was published on Sept 9. When I read your email and looked up, it was Monday 9 February – at 11.09pm. I don’t know what 9 means, but I see it all the time, usually in pivotal moments in my life, so it’s become a good sign. I wish my mathematician father was here to explain it!</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">I will write again, if I may. </p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">In the meantime, here is an essay I wrote about the Camino.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">Sending my best wishes to you, your wife and your two daughters, including Trudy, who is no doubt in Heaven, following her father around the world and keeping a close eye on him!</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">I’m glad I was a small part of your decision to go to Nepal. I know you will have an extraordinary experience, just as Trudy did. I’m in awe of her. She might even inspire me to try EBC one day.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">Sending my very best wishes, always.</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block">J</p>