<h1> 云學(xué)校每周六晚上9點的會議討論,是我每周最期待的精神盛宴與能量加油站,但這一次卻因回老家網(wǎng)絡(luò)不通而錯過了,還好有林老師的慈悲鞭策,讓我們這些不能準(zhǔn)時參與學(xué)習(xí)和討論的人們,也能在會后有十足的動力去好好學(xué)習(xí),感恩林老師,您辛苦了??!</h1> <h1> 關(guān)于孩子的作業(yè)問題,老大在上小學(xué)四年級前作業(yè)不太讓我們操心,只是在數(shù)學(xué)上到了四年級孩子爸會時常輔導(dǎo)一下。但這樣的好景也就持續(xù)了這幾年,我懷老二后,老大在心理上有了很大的變化,這也是怪我們做父母的沒有去重視親子關(guān)系,往日的好成績也是一落千丈,作業(yè)拖拉磨蹭,各種問題層出不窮。這些讓我們做父母的傷透了腦筋,也不知如何去處理與引導(dǎo)。</h1><h1> 現(xiàn)在孩子在湖北老家上初三,這次因母親受傷回家照顧,正好趕上中秋假期(孩子住校),見孩子在家寫作業(yè)時,都是把自己學(xué)的好的科目早早就做完了,留下數(shù)學(xué)和英語到了第三天才寫完。</h1> <h1> 我還沒有幫孩子寫過作業(yè),個人認(rèn)為寫作業(yè)是孩子自己的事,自己的事自己來完成!</h1> <h1> 從林老師教育光宇寫作業(yè)的例子中可以看出,林老<font color="#010101">師是一個把母親的位置坐穩(wěn)的媽媽,</font><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 30.6px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;">孩</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); 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font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 30.6px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;"></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 30.6px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;"></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 30.6px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;"></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 30.6px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;"></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 30.6px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;"></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 30.6px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;"></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 30.6px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;"></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 30.6px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;"></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 30.6px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;"></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 30.6px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;"></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 30.6px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;"></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 30.6px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;"></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 30.6px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;"></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 30.6px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;">需要的恰恰就是這份溫柔和堅定的態(tài)度,不要兇不是罵,而是那份“我是你媽媽,這個行為不可以”的態(tài)度,嚴(yán)</span><span style="line-height: 1.8; max-width: 100%; font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; font-variant-ligatures: normal; letter-spacing: 0.816px; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-wrap: break-word !important;"><font color="#010101">格的規(guī)則,帶著愛去執(zhí)行,這樣孩子才會感到更安全。</font></span></h1><h3><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Helvetica Neue', 'PingFang SC', 'Hiragino Sans GB', 'Microsoft YaHei UI', 'Microsoft YaHei', Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.816px; line-height: 1.75em; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; widows: 2;"></span></h3> <h1> “幫助他人”確實是提高孩子學(xué)習(xí)熱情的好方法,不到四歲的女兒在班上是記憶力較好的孩子,所以老師經(jīng)常讓她領(lǐng)讀,來幫助其他學(xué)得慢的同學(xué),在這個過程中孩子得到了很好的成功體驗,同時通過幫助他人也鞏固了自己的所學(xué)。</h1> <h1> 關(guān)于孩子上小學(xué)后做什么事都磨蹭,我想這應(yīng)該不是孩子上了小學(xué)才變磨蹭的,而是孩子上了小學(xué)后家長才意識到的吧。所以為了避免上小學(xué)后的各種磨蹭,學(xué)齡前就要去提升孩子的各種能力,孩子自己能做的鼓勵他做,孩子愿意做的一定要放手讓孩子自己做,比如出門前換鞋這件事,很多家長在臨出門時見孩子穿的又慢又不好,所以就會代勞,殊不知家長的這種行為就是剝奪了孩子練習(xí)的機會,也打壓了孩子做事的積極性,時間久了孩子不僅沒學(xué)會自己穿鞋,反而越來越依賴家長的幫忙。</h1><h1> 之前我也有過類似的經(jīng)歷,臨出門時嫌孩子的速度慢,真想上前去幫一把,后來就想了一個辦法,就是讓孩子提前準(zhǔn)備,讓孩子提前換好衣服與鞋子在門口等著。但前題一定是孩子會穿衣服與鞋子。</h1><h1> 在我的育兒經(jīng)歷中發(fā)現(xiàn)只要是一個發(fā)育正常的孩子,只要在前二年家長不太過于干預(yù)孩子的各種模仿行為,二歲半的孩子就能學(xué)會,自己穿衣穿鞋吃飯等一些簡單的事情。</h1><h3></h3> <h1> 很期待林老師的這本“家長執(zhí)行手冊”,緊跟林老師的步伐,一步一個腳印,步步走踏實。</h1><h3></h3> <h3></h3><h1> 學(xué)齡前孩子的情緒問題,真的是一個重大課題。一般來說脾氣不好缺乏耐心的父母 ,所養(yǎng)育出來的孩子大多也是脾氣不好,因為孩子都是在跟父母學(xué)。在帶老大的過程中,讓我知道了自己是一個脾氣不好的人,有了這個覺悟后,養(yǎng)育老二就成了一個自我修煉的過程。</h1><h1> 個人經(jīng)驗,首先父母要有一個平和穩(wěn)定的情緒,做到這一點的基本條件是:1、和諧的夫妻關(guān)系。有很多父母都會把夫妻之間的爭吵與矛盾發(fā)泄到孩子身上;2、對孩子各個年齡段的心理、行為及能力要有所了解,這樣做的好處是提前預(yù)知避免焦慮,不然孩子一哭一鬧一不聽話,那無名火就蹭蹭蹭往上冒。</h1><h1> 解決了父母自身的脾氣之后,其次就是孩子的情緒問題了,不同的階段側(cè)重點也不一樣。在孩子還小的時候(2歲前),可以從需求入手去鍛煉孩子。大多此階段的孩子如果需求不能及時滿足就會哭鬧發(fā)脾氣。解決方案:積極回應(yīng)、延遲滿足,讓孩子學(xué)會等待,建立對父母的信任(也就是家長一定要說話算話)。</h1><h1> 在這方面我在瑞玲(老二)1歲左右就開始在刻意訓(xùn)練了,每次當(dāng)她發(fā)出需求信號時,我總會在第一時間回應(yīng)她,比如喝水,我就會說:“寶寶是不是想喝水啊”,說完還要再重復(fù)幾遍里面的關(guān)鍵詞 :喝水,然后再說:“寶寶要等一下哦,媽媽做完XXX就來給你喝水”。記得孩子快滿兩歲時,有一次帶她去買菜,她看到香蕉就說想吃,我也就買了,買了之后她就要吃,所以我就給了一根,吃完她又要,我就說:“你手里的香蕉皮還沒扔呢”,然后再提示她:“垃圾要扔到哪里呀”?她說:“垃圾桶”,我說:“對,這里沒有垃圾桶,所以現(xiàn)在要先拿著皮,等把皮扔了才能吃第二根”。有了前期等待的基礎(chǔ),這點等待她還是可以接受的。等我把全部的菜買完,在返回的途中才看到垃圾桶,所以她扔了皮,我也履行了我的諾言:給了她第二根,孩子很開心,吃完了第二根不用我提醒主動找垃圾桶。這一路上就是不停的吃,不停的找垃圾桶扔皮,后來我也自我安慰的想:今天鞏固了孩子的一個好習(xí)慣“垃圾扔到垃圾桶”。下次帶她去買菜時又遇到了同樣的問題——買香蕉,有了上次的經(jīng)驗,這一次我在買之前就跟她商量:“等媽媽把全部的菜買好后,我們騎自行車回去時再吃可以嗎”?孩子點頭答應(yīng)。路上孩子看到垃圾桶要扔皮,我說旁邊有車媽媽不方便停,我們再到前面去看看吧,以此為借口一路上只吃了兩根。第三次還是同樣的問題,這次我說:“今天買了之后我們先不吃,等到家之后和爸爸媽媽一起分享好不好”?孩子非常合作,點頭答應(yīng)了。有了這第三次的“等待”之后,再買什么好吃的只要事先跟她說好,她都能等到家后再吃。吃的方面能等待,其他方面也是一樣的。</h1><h1> 等孩子稍大一些(兩歲之后),這時期孩子的自主意識慢慢增強,什么都想去做,但卻因能力有限而做不好,所以就很容易沮喪發(fā)脾氣,比如生活中常見的,當(dāng)孩子穿鞋穿不好時,搭積木搭不好時,折紙折不好時,繪畫畫的不滿意時等等,很多家長不明原因總會在這時給孩子貼標(biāo)簽——脾氣不好、做事沒耐心,殊不知這是學(xué)齡前孩子普遍遇到的,解決方案:提升孩子能力與共情。</h1><h1> 記得瑞玲兩歲多時我喜歡折紙船給她玩,每次折的時候她就在旁邊看,折好后給她玩(我做她看),慢慢的她也來了興趣想自己折一個(孩子天生具有好奇心與模仿能力),就學(xué)著我的樣子把紙對折起來,但怎么也折不好,氣得把紙揉成一團扔了出去,然后就一屁股坐在地上哭了起來,看到這一幕我就走過去輕輕的抱起她,摟在懷里溫柔的對她說:“是不是想折船,但怎么也折不好,所以好沮喪好生氣啊”!孩子聽我這么說立刻不哭了,含著眼淚說是,我接著說:“那媽媽來教你吧”!這時孩子破涕為笑了,我就一步一步慢慢的演示給她看:先……再……然后……接著……最后……,在演示的過程中還時不時的請孩子幫個忙,比如把折痕加深等一些簡單的步驟(我做她幫助),演示完再鼓勵她去嘗試一下。學(xué)齡前孩子的短期記憶力還是很差的,即使剛剛我們才給她演示過,但當(dāng)她自己真的實踐時,可能就又忘記了。所以當(dāng)孩子在自己實踐我們演示過的技能時,及時適當(dāng)?shù)卦谝慌越o予提示(她做我?guī)椭?,慢慢的?dāng)練習(xí)的時間久了孩子就可以獨自折出一個漂亮的紙船了。</h1> <h3></h3><h1> 我現(xiàn)在在學(xué)堂所面對的也是學(xué)齡前的孩子,在課堂上當(dāng)孩子鬧的時候,我就先不說話,看一會兒,然后再提高聲音慢慢的說:“你們說,老師就不說啦!這一招還是挺靈的,孩子會馬上都安靜下來。</h1><h1>
</h1> <h1> 在講故事方面我釆用何偉老師的方法,把講故事當(dāng)成獎勵,在孩子們認(rèn)真讀完經(jīng)典后,就以獎勵的方式講故事給他們聽,孩子們都很喜歡。</h1> <h3><h1> 通過這次的會議讓我知道:親子關(guān)系是一切問題的基礎(chǔ)。 也讓我知道了當(dāng)孩子進入小學(xué)后家長要做的是: </h1><h1>1、幫助孩子提升學(xué)習(xí)熱情與動力——教(幫)別人。在家可以教父母,在校也要鼓勵孩子去教同學(xué)、幫同學(xué);</h1><h1>2、學(xué)校教的,自己絕對不教,孩子的作業(yè)和學(xué)習(xí),必須百分百由孩子自己負(fù)責(zé)。如果寫的慢一定要分析原因,找到有效方法并耐心指導(dǎo)。家長只需每天抓好孩子的:書寫、閱讀、寫日記;</h1><h1>3、對孩子的兩點底線:不容忍任何馬虎態(tài)度、不容忍浪費時間,做不到重做,做到之后就有時間自由。</h1></h3><h1> 關(guān)于幼兒教育:</h1><h1>1、最重要的心態(tài):不生氣,不管孩子做什么,都是原諒的,因為這是他們這個時期的特點。但是,壞習(xí)慣必須要糾正;</h1><h1>2、最好的做法:笑瞇瞇看著他,請你再做一遍,做好才能吃飯。——切記我不生氣我不生氣;</h1><h1>3、互補選擇:孩子鬧,你靜!你就笑瞇瞇盯著最鬧的孩子看!孩子靜,你就活潑!——面對一群孩子時! </h1>