<p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">詩 會：中華慈善詩會</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">校 長：陌上花開</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">班主任：愛明、黃金歲月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">輔 導：惜 往 日</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">編 輯：愛明、如夢</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">審 核：愛 明 點評 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">作 者：聯(lián)36班學員</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> （本篇各位作者已經授權）</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">分詠（山；水）成聯(lián)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">要求：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1，不犯題字。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2，離形得似。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3，對仗工穩(wěn)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4，七言成聯(lián)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5，不許疊字。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6，形成意聯(lián)。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 黑眼睛</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐘靈疊翠千秋畫；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">掛壁流弦萬古琴。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：有色有聲，比喻夸張！大氣！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">仁人樂汝知寬厚；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">智者欣之享逸悠。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：以仁者樂山，智者樂水之典分詠，讀來自然抱樸。</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">司馬常思眉黛遠；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">伊人暗送眼波盈。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：以“山是眉峰聚，水是眼波橫”詩句分詠，另辟蹊徑！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">愚公不拔攻堅志；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">精衛(wèi)勇懷擲石心。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：以愚公移山對精衛(wèi)填海，構思巧妙！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 黃金歲月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青綠地靈春萬里；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">潺湲天籟歲千年。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:18px;">評：有色有聲！境象大氣！</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 如夢 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">嵯峨拔勢祥云繞；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">浩蕩推舟旭日斜。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：景語美，白描手法運用得當！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千帆逐日搖輕翼；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">萬木迎春啟翠屏。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：境象曠達，比喻手法運用得當！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">云天浩渺漁舟晚；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">峭壑巍峨曉月殘。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：很有畫面感！意境美！</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4. 君智 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">嵐靄氤氳孤寺現(xiàn)；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">煙波浩渺客舟行。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：如畫的景語！白描手法運用得當！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蒼岫微云私竊語；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧漪皓月總含情。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：擬人手法運用得當。虛實相生！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5. 默 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿目青巒披秀色；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三江碧浪起歡聲。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：景語動靜相宜。巒、江、浪可再琢！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6. 木瓜 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三面峻層飄黛影；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一灣玉帶蕩粼光。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：景語如畫！美！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">太行磐石迎新貌；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">林縣天河泛綠波。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?（天河：紅旗渠）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:18px;">評：比喻得當，以景達情，表現(xiàn)經過老一輩辛勞開創(chuàng)，太行山區(qū)人民迎來了如今幸福的生活！贊！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7. 楊柳依依 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">長風浪送千帆遠；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">瑞鳥巔鳴萬樹榮。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：大氣的景觀！美！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">窗間樹色連巉凈；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">戶外嵐光帶澈浮。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:18px;">評：虛實相生！詞句清雅！</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風集祥云籠碧岫；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">燕回麗日映清鱗。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：詩情畫意！美！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8. 全 興 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">云移險峻乾坤大；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">瀑掛空靈日月延。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：思接千里！意象曠達！贊！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">萬嶺楓紅添錦繡；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千彎澗白露崢嶸。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：色彩鮮明！如畫的美景！</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9. 瓁 境 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">登高此處青煙繞；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">垂釣其中錦鯉歡。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：有生活有意趣！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">起伏高崗飄玉帶；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">奔騰大浪濺冰花。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：很有畫面感！注意避免近義詞犯題！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10. 上善若水 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巉秀香爐連碧漢；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">恢弘瀑布入瑤煙。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：氣勢恢宏！美！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">狙猿跋越啼乖調；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鸕飼潛游舞異姿。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：富有生趣！贊！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">復嶺逶迤騰綠浪；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三江浩渺化青弦。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:18px;">評：化用了毛爺爺的詞，大氣！注意避免同義詞犯題！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11. 星 星</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">登臨絕頂抒心志；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">遙望波濤詠贊歌。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：情景交融！注意避免近義詞犯題！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12. 梧 桐 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">高低各有擎天骨；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">急緩皆存入海心。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：將山與水的特性品格描述到位！贊！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">聳身萬載橫風雨；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">馳志千年凈地天。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：夸張和擬人手法運用得棒！境象曠達！贊！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">嬌容不老千年綠；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翠體常新萬載歡。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:18px;">評：擬人手法棒！將山與水的特質表達無余！必須贊！</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">虎嘯一聲傳砥柱；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">龍吟百里起狂瀾。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：曲筆達意！夸張手法得當！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">13. 瓊之島 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">斷蛇埋地思伊尹；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">釣主垂桿有子牙。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：以典成聯(lián)，思路開闊！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">夕陽西墜層林染；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">帆影東移群鳥飛。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：山水美景如畫！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">14. 洛兮 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">萬壑爭流行日月；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千巖競秀笑春風。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：比擬得當！思接千里！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">層巒疊翠云霄聳；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">遠瀑含煙雨露深。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：注意避免近義詞犯題字！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蒼煙落照千峰秀；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">白浪平沙九曲長。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：境象曠達！美！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">15. 人生無悔 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蒼松古剎云中隱；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">明月清泉畫里流。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：一隱一流，有開有闔！山水美景如畫！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千里云峰迎旭日；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一帆風浪送輕舟。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：曲筆達意，用詞蘊藉！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巍峨玉筆穿云出；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">浩蕩春江入海流。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：比喻得當！注意避免近義詞犯題！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">16. 怡然 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">渡頭犬吠高墻內；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">棧道鶯啼翠柏中。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：富于生活氣息！對于水的表達偏弱了些！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">柴門草岸觀帆影；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">古寺崖間響磬音。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：曲筆達意！美！</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">17. 春 江 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">碧簪曲徑通孤寺；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青帶飛花入釣舟。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：化用韓愈詩句～江作青羅帶，山如碧玉簪。詩情畫意！美！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">18. 五月的云 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">高聳入云難見頂；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">低迴通海不橫流。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：將山與水的特征表達到位！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">19. 神 采 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">黃河怒號沖龍廟；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">華岳崢嶸聳漢霄。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：擬人手法運用得當！注意近義詞犯題！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">泛舸秦糧延九百；（泛舟之役）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">爭雄淆戰(zhàn)滅三軍。（淆山之戰(zhàn)）</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：以古代名戰(zhàn)發(fā)生地分詠，思路新奇！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">巍峨祖脈三千里(秦嶺）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">燦爛龍根一萬年(黃河)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:18px;">評：比擬，夸張手法到位！歌頌中華脈與母親河！龍根可再琢！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">20. 執(zhí)著 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">青峰半入云霄里；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">飛瀑俄消溝壑間。</span></p><p class="ql-block">評：峰、瀑可再琢！</p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">21. 夏花 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">登高眺遠寒煙渺；</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">載月行舟故夢長。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:18px;">評：虛實相生！意境美！頗有懷鄉(xiāng)思舊之意！</span></p>