龍風(fēng)國學(xué)院十二期四分院第六次作業(yè)集錦朗月 <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">龍風(fēng)國學(xué)院</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">國學(xué)院名譽(yù)總院長(zhǎng)：梅欣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">國學(xué)院總院長(zhǎng)：曲延波 李美權(quán)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">國學(xué)院執(zhí)行總院長(zhǎng)：盧進(jìn)海</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">國學(xué)院副總院長(zhǎng)：劉李萍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">1204分院院長(zhǎng)：項(xiàng)新建</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">副院長(zhǎng)：杜君 朗月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">教 官：王柏賢 洪彩娟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">課程編審：盧進(jìn)海</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">授課老師：毛金萍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">作業(yè)布置：國學(xué)院12期教研組</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">本期點(diǎn)評(píng)老師：項(xiàng)新建</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">美篇制作：朗月</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">龍風(fēng)國學(xué)院第十二期學(xué)員</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">第六次作業(yè)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">分院:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">學(xué)員：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">學(xué)號(hào)： </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">1）平起平收押五平韻式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">五律·題目（韻部）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">平平仄仄平，（韻）仄仄仄平平。（韻）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">仄仄平平仄，平平仄仄平。（韻）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">平平平仄仄，仄仄仄平平。（韻）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">仄仄平平仄，平平仄仄平。（韻）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">2）仄起平收押四仄韻式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">五律·題目（韻部）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">仄仄仄平平，平平平仄仄。（韻）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">平平仄仄平，仄仄平平仄。（韻）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">仄仄仄平平，平平平仄仄。（韻）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">平平仄仄平，仄仄平平仄。（韻）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">--------------------</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">國學(xué)院毛金萍院長(zhǎng)布置</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">2023.12.2 20∶00前提交</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">1204分院第六次作業(yè)完成人員名單：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">01雷寶珠[玫瑰][玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">02.黃青山[玫瑰][玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">03.王菊芳[玫瑰][玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">04.賀菊能[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">05.雷穎嫻[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">06.常泰新[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">07.[玫瑰]</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">學(xué)員：雷寶珠</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">學(xué)號(hào)：LF12-GX184-0031</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">1）平起平收押五平韻式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">五律·觀金鑾灣日出（下平七陽韻部）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">黎明陣感涼，海岸露晨光。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">萬道朝霞映，千層大浪揚(yáng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">云天紅似火，眾客喜驚狂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">鏡面沙灘上，拍張倒影裝。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">（福建省東山島是最近幾年新開發(fā)的旅游景點(diǎn)，金鑾灣的鏡面沙灘看日出最美）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">項(xiàng)新建評(píng)語：格律無誤，對(duì)仗工整，情景交融，可稱好詩！為你點(diǎn)贊！</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">2）仄起平收押四仄韻式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">五律·游黃果樹瀑布（去聲二十三漾韻部）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">醉美貴州行，心胸開闊放。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">山巒翠綠深，瀑布多奇狀。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">震撼臥龍?zhí)叮绿翆捠幯?lt;/span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">西游攝景來，果樹名聲亮。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">（陡坡塘是黃果樹瀑布群最寬的瀑布，臥龍?zhí)妒亲钇恋陌雸A形瀑布，黃果樹瀑布景點(diǎn)是西游記拍攝地之一）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">項(xiàng)新建評(píng)語：詩作記述所見之景，格律無誤，可見作者詩詞功底深厚！對(duì)仗若能更工整一些的話，更佳！</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">學(xué)員:黃青山</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">學(xué)號(hào):LF12一GX184一0025</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">1)平起平收押五平韻格式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">五律.黃山松(上平二冬)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">黃山絕壁松，倔犟展蔥蘢。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風(fēng)勁深根固，霜凝針葉豐。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">俗塵滌云海，雅品出奇峰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">耐得千般苦，游人綻笑容。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">項(xiàng)新建評(píng)語：此詩前半段尚有精彩處，后半段隨便了些！煉句不夠，轉(zhuǎn)結(jié)也較弱！</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">2)仄起平收押四仄韻格式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">五律.荊江柳(去聲二十三漾)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">二月柳鵝黃，根深軀健壯。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">嬌條裊裊垂，小鳥嬉嬉唱。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">臨汎獻(xiàn)柔枝，斗風(fēng)攔巨浪。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">丹心奉庶黎，舍己看堤防。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">項(xiàng)新建評(píng)語：此詩貼近生活，對(duì)仗工整，用擬人化的手法贊揚(yáng)了荊江柳的品格！是好詩！為黃老點(diǎn)贊！</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">--------------------</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">國學(xué)院毛金萍院長(zhǎng)布置2023.11.27提交</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">學(xué)員：王菊芳</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">學(xué)號(hào)：LF12-GX184-0032</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">1）平起平收押五平韻式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">五律?思鄉(xiāng)（七陽平聲）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風(fēng)吹樹葉黃，郁悶賞花香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">思緒千般念，憂愁百種傷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">家園依舊暖，游子憶思長(zhǎng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">企盼春來早，乘車返故鄉(xiāng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">注：花香：桂花二度開。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">項(xiàng)新建評(píng)語：格律正確，語言曉暢，詩脈連綿，直抒鄉(xiāng)愁！<span class="ql-cursor">?</span> 鄉(xiāng)愁人人都體驗(yàn)過，是一個(gè)永恒的主題！</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">2）仄起平收押四仄韻式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">五律?看山（上聲二十三梗）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">登上北高峰，層巒疊嶂影。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">橫觀飛鳳臺(tái)，俯瞰桃花嶺。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">領(lǐng)袖撰詩詞，江湖浮畫景。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">群山萬壑悠，旖旎如仙境。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">注：毛主席三上北高峰，風(fēng)景優(yōu)美，撰寫一首詩篆刻在石碑，矗立在北高峰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">項(xiàng)新建評(píng)語：格律無誤，對(duì)仗工整，詩風(fēng)豪邁，讓人如臨其境！只是，題目大了些，具體點(diǎn)為好。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">--------------------</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">國學(xué)院毛金萍院長(zhǎng)布置交作業(yè)：2023.12.1. 13；30.3</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">學(xué)員：賀菊能</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">學(xué)號(hào)：LF12-GX184-0033</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">1）平起平收押五平韻式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">五律·冬湖（下平八庚）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">冬湖玉潔明，凜冽氣寒傾。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">落葉殘枝伴，枯黃美景呈。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風(fēng)吹蘆勁蕩，翠鳥悅聲鳴。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">透視魚眠水，游人往返行。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">項(xiàng)新建評(píng)語：格律正確，寫景豐富；對(duì)仗欠工，還應(yīng)加強(qiáng)。 狀物寫景要抓住重點(diǎn)，要善于提煉！另外，觸景生情，要有所感。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">2）仄起平收押四仄韻式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">五律·賀龍?jiān)獛洠ㄈヂ暿搴玻?lt;/span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">老帥立奇功，湖桑平世亂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">胸裝膽破天，鼠敵聞風(fēng)竄。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">護(hù)國討袁沖，湘川鄂黔捍。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">籌謀四捷殲，史冊(cè)勛彰贊。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">項(xiàng)新建評(píng)語：此詩歌頌了賀元帥的功績(jī)和膽魄，格律無大問題，只是對(duì)仗欠工，煉句也要多推敲。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">--------------------</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">國學(xué)院毛金萍院長(zhǎng)布置2023.12.1提交</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">學(xué)員：雷穎嫻</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">學(xué)號(hào)：LF12-GX184-0029</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">1）平起平收押五平韻式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">五律?洽川美(下平一先韻部)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">古莘處女泉，數(shù)眼瀵奇鮮。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">百畝荷塘秀，千傾葦蕩漣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">珍禽棲濕地，錦鯉戲清蓮。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">似入神仙境，游人不舍船。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">注:原古莘國現(xiàn)在的洽川鎮(zhèn)。洽在這里讀合，不讀恰。瀵:地下無數(shù)泉眼冒出來的水形成象湖一樣的水塘。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span>項(xiàng)新建評(píng)語：此作格律無誤，對(duì)仗工整，是佳作！為你點(diǎn)贊！</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">2）仄起平收押四仄韻式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">五律?云南游(去聲24敬韻部)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">石柱露崢嶸，滇池平似鏡。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">觀光快艇華，載客屏車競(jìng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">澗下水清悠，街前花簇盛。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">民歌對(duì)唱絕，跳舞同歡慶。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">項(xiàng)新建評(píng)語：此詩信息量大，記寫游云南時(shí)所見及參與跳舞同樂之事。對(duì)仗工整，只是“絕”為入聲“九屑”，此處應(yīng)用平聲字，出聲了。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">--------------------</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">國學(xué)院毛金萍院長(zhǎng)布置交作業(yè)：2023.12.2. 11</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">學(xué)員：常泰新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">學(xué)號(hào)：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">1）平起平收押五平韻式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">五律·觀看焦裕祿有感（上平十四寒）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風(fēng)侵?jǐn)?shù)九寒，透骨瘦衣單。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">夜晚仍伏案，公文刺促繁。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">為民當(dāng)盡瘁，廢寢不覺難。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">砥礪行將至，昇平四海歡。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">項(xiàng)新建評(píng)語：詩贊焦裕?有感受，但欠精準(zhǔn)。用韻無誤。“伏”仄聲應(yīng)平，出聲了?！坝X”仄應(yīng)平，也出聲了。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">2）仄起平收押四仄韻式</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">五律·觀看電影再見李可樂有感（去聲二十五徑）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">騰躍馭流云，聽風(fēng)逐雪興。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">倏忽雪散驚，慟喊無人應(yīng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">化作犬相陪，聞?wù)呓詼I瀅。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">其情可感天，父女來生定。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">項(xiàng)新建評(píng)語：此詩用韻無誤，但平仄不合格式。望細(xì)讀課件，弄清替對(duì)粘的關(guān)系，按譜創(chuàng)作為好。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">--------------------</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">國學(xué)院毛金萍院長(zhǎng)布置2023.12.2 20∶00前提交</span></p> 收押仄仄五律仄韻評(píng)語平平新建起平學(xué)院玫瑰