<p class="ql-block">父親的離世帶給我的雖然不是撕心裂肺的疼痛，卻也是一種沉甸甸的、綿綿的懷念。沉甸甸的多是愧疚感，因?yàn)槲遗惆樗臅r(shí)間實(shí)在太少了。好在爸媽在上海和我們一起度過(guò)了幾年快樂(lè)的時(shí)光。那時(shí)爸媽經(jīng)常帶著他們的一對(duì)龍鳳混血雙胞胎外孫外孫女到公園去玩，他們是多么引以為驕傲。</p><p class="ql-block">在父親去世將近一年的時(shí)間里，我并沒(méi)有刻意去懷念他，但父親的音容經(jīng)常不經(jīng)意地涌現(xiàn)出來(lái)。有趣的是，那些揮之不去的記憶大多與吃有關(guān)。</p><p class="ql-block">切青椒時(shí)，我會(huì)想到爸爸會(huì)把青椒籽一起切進(jìn)菜里，他從來(lái)不把瓤扔掉?！扒嘟啡恳部梢猿?，而且營(yíng)養(yǎng)好！"”曉得曉得！我不會(huì)浪費(fèi)的！”</p><p class="ql-block">吃餃子時(shí)，我會(huì)回味起2019年夏天在成都，與95歲的爸爸一起從和面、搟皮、制餡到包餃子的最愉快的記憶。令人欣慰的是，父親的生活一直能自理，直到生命的最后幾個(gè)月。</p><p class="ql-block">炒菜時(shí)，我依稀可以看到正在炒菜的爸爸揮一揮鍋鏟，考我這個(gè)剛學(xué)英文的孩子：“鍋鏟英文怎么說(shuō)？” 哎呀，我的爸，您可真會(huì)挑生詞呀！但他對(duì)我的期待和信心由此可見(jiàn)一斑。</p><p class="ql-block">記憶中，我的爸爸實(shí)在是一位平凡的家庭”煮夫”，他和媽媽一起把四個(gè)兒女撫養(yǎng)成人。但他確實(shí)也是一位身經(jīng)百戰(zhàn)、歷經(jīng)槍林彈雨洗禮的戰(zhàn)斗英雄。他是抗美援朝中損失最慘烈的180師極少幸存者之一。我父親絕不當(dāng)俘虜?shù)膱?jiān)定信念和他強(qiáng)大的野外生存能力是他成功突圍的關(guān)健。</p><p class="ql-block">凡是打不死你的，必定讓你更強(qiáng)大。九死一生的經(jīng)歷，讓他心胸豁達(dá)，身體硬朗，有利于他的長(zhǎng)壽。</p> <p class="ql-block">2023年9月，我的父親在百歲高齡時(shí)去世。我們家決定在我2024年7月回中國(guó)時(shí)為他舉行骨灰安葬儀式。我的大姐承擔(dān)了準(zhǔn)備工作，包括修建墓地和舖設(shè)通往墓地的小路。有趣的是，早在30年前，父親的棺材就已經(jīng)備好了，當(dāng)?shù)氐牧?xí)俗是棺材準(zhǔn)備得越早，用得到它的時(shí)間就會(huì)越晚。</p><p class="ql-block">墓地位于村莊后山半山腰處，寨塚村莊是父親出生長(zhǎng)大的地方，滿足了他”葉落歸根”的愿望。</p><p class="ql-block">爸爸還希望我們能延伸和改善通往山丘的道路，以造福當(dāng)?shù)剜l(xiāng)親。</p><p class="ql-block">父親是一位戰(zhàn)斗英雄，曾參加解放戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)和抗美援朝。在家鄉(xiāng)，他深受尊敬，被公認(rèn)為一位見(jiàn)過(guò)世面的人，他家庭合睦，兒孫滿堂?，F(xiàn)在壽終正寑，所以他的葬禮并不是一個(gè)悲傷的事件，而是對(duì)其豐富人生的慶祝：一個(gè)“喜喪”。為期三天的葬禮更像是一個(gè)節(jié)日，充滿了做法事，道場(chǎng)等民俗儀式和娛樂(lè)活動(dòng)，并為村民及來(lái)賓準(zhǔn)備了流水宴，所有這些都是為了紀(jì)念他具有傳奇色彩的一生。</p> <p class="ql-block">在第三天的出殯儀式前，大約清晨5點(diǎn)舉行了跪柴（財(cái)）儀式。孝子賢孫每人一根柴棍，跪在毛面木柴上面以測(cè)試誠(chéng)心和耐力。我先生在這過(guò)程中紋絲不動(dòng)，完美地堅(jiān)持了（我感覺(jué)不少于20分鐘），我想我父親在三十五年前回復(fù)澳大利亞留學(xué)生小伙子的”求婚信”時(shí)，說(shuō)“我們把掌上明珠托付給你”，并批準(zhǔn)他改為石姓也是很有眼力的。</p><p class="ql-block">葬禮的許多儀式感覺(jué)像是在考驗(yàn)下一代。例如，每晚守靈，通宵達(dá)旦做道場(chǎng)，保證香火不斷。</p> <p class="ql-block">在道教中，雞冠血被認(rèn)為代表純陽(yáng)能量，可以驅(qū)邪。雞冠血被涂抹在棺材上。村民們中有許多技藝精湛的木匠，他們當(dāng)場(chǎng)用圓木、繩索和竹條制作了一輛運(yùn)送棺材的擔(dān)架。（我爸爸在被抓壯丁前，就是一位木匠）</p> <p class="ql-block">摔缽是出殯前最后一道儀式。家族希望送給逝者的最重要物品之一是飯碗。碗摔得越碎意味著更容易被帶到另一邊。</p> <p class="ql-block">前往墓地的送葬隊(duì)伍既壯觀又感人。大約20到30名強(qiáng)壯的村民自愿抬著父親的棺材，沿著狹窄曲折的山路上山前行。他們走得很飛快，途中不斷無(wú)縫銜接換人換肩，以保持隊(duì)伍的勢(shì)頭。家族成員戴著白色頭巾，跟在棺材后面，男人在前，女人在后。數(shù)百名鄉(xiāng)親加入了送行的隊(duì)伍。鞭炮聲與鐃鈸敲打聲齊鳴，煙霧與晨霧交織，火光與晨曦輝映。白色的孝帶在晨風(fēng)中飄揚(yáng)，場(chǎng)面莊嚴(yán)而神秘，簡(jiǎn)直無(wú)法用言語(yǔ)表達(dá)。</p> <p class="ql-block">陰陽(yáng)先生用大米書(shū)寫(xiě)救苦諱</p> <p class="ql-block">衷心感謝鄉(xiāng)親們熱火朝天的投入，共同來(lái)送老人上山。特別感謝堂侄國(guó)政國(guó)飛等人的精心操辦，滿足老人葉落歸根的心愿，風(fēng)風(fēng)光光地走完人生旅程。感謝石氏家族祠堂理事會(huì)會(huì)長(zhǎng)石勝龍的出席并致悼詞。感謝總管石正發(fā)主持儀式。</p> <p class="ql-block">子女接富貴米儀式</p> <p class="ql-block">在墓地，陰陽(yáng)先生進(jìn)行了招魂等一系列儀式，完成了父親多彩人生的最后一程?？諝庵谢厥幹夼诘恼鸲曧?，伴隨著古老道教禱文的吟唱，鐃鈸的節(jié)奏聲也在空中回蕩。棺材下方的地面上鋪滿了由米粒擺成的道教符號(hào)，每一個(gè)符號(hào)都充滿了神秘意義。</p> <p class="ql-block">楠木棺財(cái)用土油漆漆的。</p> <p class="ql-block">陰陽(yáng)先生石正成全神貫住地用羅盤(pán)測(cè)量，以確保父親的棺材方位完美。</p> <p class="ql-block">在下山時(shí)，按照嚴(yán)格的傳統(tǒng)，婦女們不能原路返回，也不能回頭看，而是目光堅(jiān)定地向前走。整個(gè)氛圍中充滿了魔力，仿佛與某種超越自身的力量建立了默契。|</p> <p class="ql-block">穿過(guò)碧綠的農(nóng)田，經(jīng)過(guò)荷花池塘，清晨的陽(yáng)光金燦燦地灑在我們身上，將我們黑色的喪服映照得如夢(mèng)似幻。煙花的煙霧在空氣中裊裊升騰，為整個(gè)送葬過(guò)程增添了一絲夢(mèng)幻的感覺(jué)。仿佛大自然的一切元素都共同促成了這一刻的深邃寧?kù)o和精神的升華，向父親平凡而又傳奇的人生致敬。</p> <p class="ql-block">后記：我的父親的葬禮已經(jīng)過(guò)去一個(gè)多月了。我早就想寫(xiě)些文字紀(jì)念，但是總遲遲下不了筆，直到今天。也許我的潛意識(shí)并不想完成這件事，好讓我還是繼續(xù)沉侵在無(wú)邊的懷戀中?；氐浆F(xiàn)在居住的英國(guó)后，英國(guó)的朋友們有知道我這次中國(guó)之行是為了出席我父親的葬禮的，他們問(wèn)起。終于，我決定用英文寫(xiě)了些介紹中國(guó)西南農(nóng)村葬禮風(fēng)俗習(xí)慣。不想收到的大量的閱讀和留言支持。正是因?yàn)橄扔羞@篇英文小文章，才促使我定下心來(lái)把父親的葬禮記錄在此。我父親不小心又擔(dān)當(dāng)了文化使者的角色。他總是停不下來(lái)的。</p> <p class="ql-block">In September 2023, my father passed away at the age of 100. Our family decided to hold the burial ceremony in July 2024 during my visit to China. My oldest sister took on the responsibility of all the preparations, including constructing the burial site and building a pathway leading to it. Remarkably, the coffin had been prepared for my father about 30 years ago, in accordance with the local belief that the sooner the coffin is ready, the longer it will be before it's needed. The burial site is halfway up a hill behind the village where my father grew up, fulfilling his wish to rest there, as Chinese tradition holds falling leaves return to their roots. He also wanted us to extend and improve the pathway leading to the hill, benefiting the villagers who still live there.</p><p class="ql-block">My father was a war veteran who fought in both the Liberation War and the Korean War. In his hometown, he was deeply respected, seen as a man who had faced many challenges and emerged with a happy family and successful children. His funeral was not a somber affair but a celebration of a life well-lived - "happy funeral." For three days, the event felt more like a festival, complete with folk rituals, entertainment, and rolling banquets for the villagers and attendees, all honoring his memory.</p><p class="ql-block">On the third day, before the procession known as Chu Bin, we were given spiked sticks, called "Cai" (a homonym for "fortune"), to kneel on at 5 a.m. as a test of endurance. Steve, in particular, earned my deepest respect for holding the posture perfectly for the entire 20 minutes, hopefully bringing our family much fortune. Many of the rituals felt like tests for the next generation. For instance, every night during the funeral, all the offspring of my father were required to stay up all night, participating in endless sessions of bowing and praying.</p><p class="ql-block">In Taoism, rooster crown blood is believed to represent pure Yang energy, which can ward off evil. This blood was smeared on the coffin to prevent evil spirits from disturbing my father’s soul and to ensure it would not get lost. The villagers, skilled carpenters among them, crafted a carriage for the coffin on the spot using logs, ropes, and bamboo strips.</p><p class="ql-block">One of the most significant items the family wishes to send with the deceased is a rice bowl. The more pieces the bowl shatters into, the easier it is believed to be sent over to the other side.</p><p class="ql-block">The procession to the burial site was both powerful and poignant. Around 20 to 30 strong villagers volunteered to carry my father’s coffin up the narrow, winding road to the hill. They moved swiftly, seamlessly swapping in and out along the way to maintain momentum. Family members, dressed in white headpieces, followed the coffin, with the men leading and the women behind. Hundreds of people joined the procession, creating a rather magical atmosphere.</p><p class="ql-block">At the site, the Yin-Yang master performed rituals, completing the journey of my father’s long and storied life. The air was filled with the loud, crackling bursts of festive firecrackers, meant to ward off any lingering evil spirits. The sound was accompanied by the rhythmic striking of cymbals and the chanting of ancient Taoist prayers. Taoist characters, carefully crafted from coloured rice, adorned the ground on which the coffin laid upon, each symbol charged with spiritual significance. When walking away, the women, following strict tradition, were not allowed to look back as we descended the hill, our gaze firmly fixed forward. The atmosphere was thick with a sense of magic, a palpable connection to something greater than ourselves.</p><p class="ql-block">Walking through the jade-green farm fields and past the lotus ponds, the scene was bathed in the golden rays of the sun, which poured down upon us, illuminating our black funeral attire in a surreal, almost otherworldly light. The smoke from the fireworks curled through the air, adding a dreamlike quality to the procession. It felt as if the very elements had conspired to create a moment of profound serenity and spiritual depth, a fitting tribute to a man whose life was long and full of meaning.</p> <p class="ql-block">國(guó)際友人留言，表達(dá)對(duì)中國(guó)文化，風(fēng)俗習(xí)慣的濃厚興趣，對(duì)我父親勤勞勇敢的一生的敬意和對(duì)我們家人的慰問(wèn)。</p>